By: Andre
[ed. note: Dre sent us this, but hasn't signed up for the blog yet, so we're taking the liberty of posting it for him.]

So it's Saturday night and you wanna get down but you're stuck at your girlfriend's dinner party. More merlot anyone? Fuck this! Just as soon as the tremors of a nervous breakdown begin to rumble, you're calmed by the hopeful buzz of the doorbell. A wave of relief rushes over you as the dinner party morphs into a real party. The table's cleared, booze's flowin' and everybody's loosenin' up. Now what this party needs is some tunes and your girlfriend only listens to 10,000 Maniacs, No Doubt and every other horrible band that annoys the shit out of you. Dammit, fucked again! You're not prepared for this; no CDs, no albums, not even a random mix tape from the car (oh, and of course, no bourgeois I-Pod). Right now, you would kill for a 12" single of Neneh Cherry's "Buffalo Stance." Don't Stress. Flip on the radio/stereo (fuckin' clock radio if you have to) and you should be alright. There are a handful of radio stations that have what are called "Specialty Shows," shows designed to let you party all night long wherever you are.
Now, to deejay your party right, try to quickly pre-program some good stations. A turndial is tough because you have to lower the volume and twist the dial quickly searching for the next station in between commercials. But, if your nimble fingers can pull it off, you'll showcase some random skills and maybe score a hummer from your girlfriend's sister in the bathroom (just kidding, right?). Commercials and static are a good way to kill your flow, so you must be focused. Don't start bullshittin' with somebody and wander off, because then you'll have to run back to the stereo when everybody starts yelling at you. Things don't get started until 6:00 p.m.. Before that, you might as well break out a washboard and harmonica. Here is a list of shows and times to help you deejay sans tables and save the party.
[ed.note: All shows are from L.A. If you don't live here, you're screwed.]

KKJZ 88.1
Blues in the Night
6:00-9:00 p.m.

A mix of blues, soul, r&b and jazz. Deejay the foreplay.

KCRW 88.9
Chocolate City
6:00- 9:00 p.m.

Garth Trinidad gives you a soulful mix of hip-hop, funk, world music and a bunch of other shit that you wish you had in your record collection.

KHHT 92.3
Old School Saturday Night
7:00- 12:00 a.m.

Typical old school that you have heard a million times, but will still get the job done. Refer to this station when there are commercials on the other stations.

KKBT 1003.
Saturday Night Live
7:00- 10:00 p.m.

Top 40 hip-hop mixed with egocentric DJs that want to hear themselves talk. Again, put this on when there is nothing else.

KPFK 90.7
Canto Tropical
8:00- 10:00 p.m.

It's time to shift this party into gear. A colorful show playing salsa, mambo, Afro-Cuban and Latin jazz to let everyone know that you are not fuckin' around.

KJLH 102.3
Saturday Night Mix Down
9:00 -?

This is the baddest radio show in L.A. without question. DJ Rick Waddas throws it down all night long, playing from electro-funk to old school to hip-hop in no particular order. It's hard to dance and write down a playlist at the same time, which is what you will do. This should be your homebase throughout the night.

KCRW 88.9
The Drop
9:00 -12:00 a.m.

If you are hanging out with Westside yuppie fucks, put this on and turn it up. If you are hanging with people who have culture and some ethnicity, act like this show doesn't exist.

STAR 98.7
Totally 80s Saturday Night
8:00 - ?

In between commercials, Richard Blade plays the absolute worst in 80s retro. This show fuckin' sucks.

KPWR 105.9
The Wake Up Show
12:00 - 2:00 a.m.

Hip-hop mix to get your lazy stoner friends off their asses and raging right now!

KROQ 106.7
After Hours
12:00 - 3:00 a.m.

Jason Bentley spins electronica, techno and trance. Break out the cocaine!

KPWR 105.9
Power Tools
2:00 - 4:00 a.m.

Put this on and party like a gay man on ecstasy. This show is a non-stop rave playin' techno, trance, house and a bunch of other shit that you would only listen to at this hour.

KXLU 88.9
Metal Storm
4:00 - 5:00 a.m.

Put this on to clear the party out and whatever tweakers are left will automatically start cleaning up for you.

If people are still partying at 4 or 5:00 a.m., kick everyone out and get ready to eat pussy because your coke dick ain't going nowhere. Hope this guide can help you out whenever you may need it. Enjoy.