Have you ever stuck your foot into your mouth only to later mutter, "Now I know how Joan of Arc felt?" Have you ever stopped yourself from uttering this phrase for fear that you might start singing "As the flames rose to her Roman nose and her Walkman started to melt?" If the answer is yes, dear reader, know that you are not alone. Balthazar Monsoon, Mike Waterlaso and I put together our favorite Smiths quotes, which are posted below. We humbly request that you add your own favorite lines in the comments section. Please keep this Smiths-related only. We'll post Morrissey lyrics sometime in the near future.

"Scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen/This means you really love me."-- "Rusholme Ruffians"

"Under the iron bridge we kissed/ And although I ended up with sore lips/ It just wasn't like the old days anymore/ It wasn't like those days/ Am I still ill?"-- "Still Ill"

"Punctured bicycle/ On a hillside desolate/ Will nature make a man of me yet/ When in this charming car/ This charming man/ Why pamper life's complexity/ When the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat"
-- "This Charming Man"

"All the lies that you make up/What's at the back of your mind?/Oh, your face I can see and it's desperately kind/But what's at the back of your mind?/Two icy-cold hands conducting the way/ It's the Eskimo blood in my veins/ Amid concrete and clay and general decay nature must still find a way/ So ignore all the codes of the day/Let your juvenile influences sway/ This way and that way this way that way/ God, how sex implores you to let yourself lose yourself"
-- "Stretch Out and Wait"

"What she asked of me at the end of the day/ Caligula would have blushed/ You've been in the house too long she said/ And I naturally fled"-- "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"

"A tough kid who sometimes swallows nails/Raised on prisoner's aid/He killed a policeman when he was thirteen/And somehow that really impressed me/It's written all over my face"-- "I Want the One I Can't Have"

"Sometimes I feel more fulfilled/Making Christmas cards/ For the mentally ill" -- "Frankly, Mr. Shankly"

"Yes, you're older now/And you're a clever swine" -- "Rubber Ring"

"You say : "'Ere thrice the sun done salutation to the dawn" /And you claim these words as your own/ But I've read well/ And I've heard them said/ A hundred times (maybe less, maybe more)/ If you must write prose/poems/ The words you use should be your own/ Don't plagiarise or take "on loan"/ 'Cause there's always someone, somewhere/ With a big nose, who knows/ And who trips you up and laughs/ When you fall/ Who'll trip you up and laugh/ When you fall " -- "Cemetry Gates"

"He's not strange/ He just wants to live his life this way"-- "Vicar in a Tutu"

"I smoke because I'm hoping for an early death/And I need to cling to something"-- "What She Said"

"I want to live and I want to love/I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of"-- "Frankly, Mr. Shankly"

"And if a ten-ton truck/Kills the both of us/To die by your side/Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine"-- "There is a Light That Never Goes Out"

"I said Charles don't you ever crave/To appear on the front of the Daily Mail/Dressed in your mother's bridal veil"-- "The Queen is Dead"

"Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear"-- "Sheila Take a Bow"

"I thought that if you had an acoustic guitar/It meant that you were/A protest singer"-- "Shakespeare's Sister"

"I wear black on the outside/'Cause black is how I feel/On the inside" -- "Unlovable"

"I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday/Because you're evil/And you lie/And if you should die/I may feel slightly sad/But I won't cry"-- "Unhappy Birthday"

"And the pain was enough/To make a shy, bald Bhuddist reflect/ And plan a mass murder"-- "Stop Me if You Think You've Heard This One Before"

"Sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking when/ I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed"-- "Bigmouth Strikes Again"

"So, in my bedroom in those 'ugly new houses'/I danced my legs down to the knees/But me and my 'true love'/Will never meet again ..."-- "Paint a Vulgar Picture"


We suggest checking this site for more information on the Smiths, including lyrics.