Dear James Blunt:

We have seen, at this point, several interviews with you on television and noted that the questions, as well as your answers, are exactly the same. With that in mind, we humbly submit these probes into your life, none of which concern your tenure in Her Majesty's service. We hope that one day you will be bored enough to Google yourself, find this blog and answer these to the best of your ability.

Sincerely,

Liz O. & Balthazar Monsoon

1. Did you find the thought of playing to millions of bored suburban housewives on Oprah titillating or just plain creepy?

2. Have you ever thought about going emo so that boys will buy your album too?

3. Do you wonder how you could have become popular in a country where the humor within The Queen is Dead is lost on most?

4. Are you going to marry a pretentious American movie star and name your first child Pear?

5. Do you ever write on postcards, "How I dearly wish I was not here?"

6. Do you ever find yourself buying copies of The Bell Jar to hand out to people because you are tired of explaining yourself?

7. How long did it take you to realize that being a sad Englishman with messy hair means that you can get any girl in the club?

8. Are you completely offended by these questions, or do understand that we only ask because we love you?