When I was a freshman in high school, somebody asked me if I was a goth and I answered, "Huh?" I had gone to this really small parochial school beforehand (graduating in a class of 25) where pretty much everyone was into either metal or hip-hop and I was considered the freaky kid who listened to Morrissey and Depeche Mode, so even though I had seen other kids who looked like me and wore t-shirts of bands that I liked at the mall or Tempo Records, the whole idea of music subcultures was a novel concept in my mind. When these things were pointed out to me, I definitely did gravitate towards goth, since I already had the beginner's record collection (Siouxsie, The Cure, Bauhaus, Joy Division, Sisters of Mercy) and could get the look without trying (my hair is two shades shy of black when it isn't dyed and my skin only knows two hues, alabaster and crimson). Later, when I was old enough to start clubbing, the goth scene became my sanctuary. I felt more at home at goth clubs than indie rock shows because, oddly enough, it seemed friendlier. At the indie rock shows, for the most part, people just stood around in various aloof postures, shifting their weight from foot to foot and offering only polite applause after each song. At goth clubs, people were actually having fun, waltzing around the dancefloor to everything from Legendary Pink Dots to "This is Halloween" (from The Nightmare Before Christmas) as though nobody was watching. At goth clubs, you could wear an outfit that would make you hide your face in shame when you looked at the picture five years after the fact (although some of the looks were so incredible that even John Galliano might be jealous) and it didn't matter. Off the dancefloor, you could strike up conversations with virtually anyone and end up discussing everything from that Switchblade Symphony show that everyone was at the weekend prior to Camus.
The thing about goth that differentiates it from any other music subculture is that it never was, nor will it ever be, cool. At the same time, no matter how much anybody, whether its the kid down the street or a smarmy journalist, disses goth, you can't kill the scene. For one thing, while there is a specific look and sound attributed to goth that changes oh-so-slightly over time, it is not fueled by trends. Second, goths actually have a sense of humor, so there is nothing anyone can say about it that goths haven't said about themselves first. When goths say things like, "I wish I lived in the 17th century, where people could embrace my darkness" (actual quote heard on Oprah sometime in the late-1990s), people think they are serious. Yeah, like some portly teenage guy in black lipstick and chains seriously thought he could have a higher rate of survival in the 17th century. Ask a stupid question and ye shall receive a stupid answer.
I haven't DJed at a goth (and/or industrial) club in six years and my connections to the scene now are minimal. However, I continue to defend it as a valid scene that has spawned plenty of creative sounds. The tune below probably gives a better picture of goth than I ever could.

Qntal "Ad Mortem Festinamus"
(Song Removed)

When I started DJing at Coven 13, this was already a big hit. It combines several major elements of goth. First and foremost, it's electronic and goths are a technologically savvy bunch. No need for lo-fi crap here. Second, it's in Latin (I asked my Latin-major brother to translate the title and said that it means, roughly, "Rushing Towards Death") and features operatic vocals, pointing to the goth tendency to develop interests perceived to be odd by the tabloid-reading, trashy expose-loving public at large. Finally, it's definitely a dance song and goths are some of the most avid dancers you will ever find.
Qntal actually formed in the early-1990s with the intent of making medieval-influenced electronic music and succeeded with that formula until it disbanded in 1999. "Ad Mortem Festinamus" initially appeared as a 12" single in 1992 and was later released on the album Qntal I, which was available here as an import. Used and sealed/collectible copies can be found in very limited quantity through Amazon. I would also suggest checking with Vinyl Fetish, which is the best resource for goth/industrial music in Los Angeles.