As a means of taking a break from editing today, I sat down with Carlos to watch TV. We sort of stumbled across one of the countdown shows on Fuse and just sort of sat there for about an hour wondering why we were glued to a show saturated with crap. Out of the ten videos we saw, we only liked two: Christina Aguilera "Ain't No Other Man" and Gnarls Barkley "Crazy" (Cabaret outfits and Rorschach tests alwasy make for good music television). Here is my assessment of some of the other videos viewed (in no particular order):

Fergie "London Bridge"

The fact that Fergie has a career making music and not, say, working coatcheck at Ibiza is a symbol of the truly sad state of American pop culture at present. However, the knowledge that "London Bridge" currently sits on top of the Billboard singles chart is just plain ol' embarrassing. It seems like Fergie is going for some sort of Missy Elliott style of delivery, but, instead, she sounds like some suburban high school twerp looking for street cred. Considering the amount of suburban teens grasping for gritty urban realism, this fact might be lost on the masses. However, only those who have spent the past two years stationed on Antarctica could remain ignorant of the fact that the song's hook is "Hollaback Girl." How people could buy a cheap imitation of something that was done only two years ago is beyond me.


The Pussycat Dolls featuring Snoop Dogg "Buttons"

Obviously, the goal of The Pussycat Dolls is to recreate 1980s-style freestyle by picking a group of generic, er, "hotties" out of line at Avalon and sticking them in a burlesque troupe/pop group. The only problem is that I forgot the melody of this song the minute the video ended and I can still sing Klymaxx every time I have a meeting in the ladies room.

Justin Timbaland, um, I mean, Timberlake "SexyBack"

You know, if it weren't for Timbaland, this fool would be a footnote in an E! special on boy bands. Like Justin's other solo work, the production is dancefloor perfection, but then the singer has to ruin it with his neutered vocals. If you're going to try and work the sex symbol angle, you better be singing like you might just die from a case of blue balls (see Prince). This guy just sounds like a eunuch. Justin just doesn't know what he wants. He would like to be taken seriously as a vocalist but, at the same time, he's still reliant on sales to 10-year-olds. He's the aural equivalent of junior high girls trying to rebel by wearing too much eyeliner and midriff tops and looking ridiculous in the process.

The Fray

This might have been the song "Over My Head (Cable Car)," but I can't remember. It was that boring. I heard from my little cousin that The Fray is all the rage with the high school kids. It must really suck to be a teenager right now.

Stefy "Chelsea"

First of all, if you are going to obviously rip off the hook from "Sweet Dreams," you might as well just sample the song. Second, "Sweet Dreams" is a classic. In the 20+ years since its release, it never left the dancefloor nor did it ever disappear from the radio dial. You probably shouldn't mess with it in the first place. However, if you are going to mess with it, you certainly shouldn't appropriate it for an Avril Lavigne-light teen pop song accompanied by a video that looks like it came straight off the Disney Channel. Who the hell thought this was a good idea?