Have you ever been focusing intently on something, like DJing, and then looked up for a brief moment only to realize that right in front of your eyes is a Calvin Klein-clad male crotch?
Yeah, actually, that never happened to me before either, until last night.

(Totally unrelated but thematically similar moment from last night)
Outside, after I finished my set, I was chatting it up with some old Parlour regulars and one of the girls asked if the guy behind her was still doing the "creepy dance." We nodded in the affirmative. Old Dude was standing right by the door of the hair salon next to the club, clutching to his shopping cart and groovin' to the beat that played through his Discman. He slowly moved his hips in a circular motion, only pausing for a second here or there to grab his crotch and/or attempt to reach out and touch a passerby with the crotch-grabbing hand.

I had to valet my car on account of the severe shortage of street parking in West Hollywood. Valet almost lost my car. The guy shows me all the keys he has. I told him those weren't mine. Mine has blue beads (all the better to ward off the evil eye, my dear) on it. He looked at me like he couldn't comprehend what I was saying and kept showing me the keys that weren't mine, waving the blue Albertson's discount card like I was some sort of idiot for not recognizing the chain as my own.
"No, those aren't my keys," I said.
The guy is still looking at me puzzled. Then he asks what kind of car I have.
"Silver Mustang," I answered.
He starts talking to the guy next to him about getting a Mazda.
"Mustang," I corrected.
"I understand you," he snapped.
Then why have I been standing here for ten minutes holding all my DJ crap waiting for them to find my car when everyone has left valet? At this point, I'm starting to think that my Bad Luck Schleprock moments couldn't get any worse, that my car was actually stolen from valet. Shit, how am I going to explain this one to Auto Club?
Finally, they found my car, parked in the back of the lot and with my keys inside the vehicle.

I hit the road, which was smooth sailing until the 405 exit before my own, at which point traffic came to a dead stop. There was a massive accident, most of which had been cleaned of cars and people, but car parts still spread across four lanes of freeway. As I tried to exit at Roscoe, where the CHP had set up the blockade, I saw a car stuck between two trees off to the side of the road and a guy with a shaved head and sports jersey standing next to it. Dude is in trouble. Cars only go off the side of the road when it's raining or if you fall asleep behind the wheel or you're drunk. It wasn't raining.

Anyhow, here's the setlist from last night:

Dahlia-- Burning Up
CSS-- Let's Make Love and Listen to Death from Above
The Lovemakers-- Shake that Ass
Chicks on Speed-- Eurotrash Girl
Annie-- Chewing Gum
Gorillaz-- Feels Good, Inc.
Gnarls Barkley-- Gone Daddy Gone
Tones on Tail-- Go
Siouxsie and the Banshees-- Hong Kong Garden (remix)
Delays-- Valentine
Royksopp-- What Else Is There? (Jacques Lu Cont Mix)
Depeche Mode vs. New Order-- Strange Love Triangle
Soho Dolls-- Stripper
Goldfrapp-- Ride a White Horse
Teddybears-- Cobrastyle
Lady Sovereign-- Random
MIA-- Bucky Done Gun
Dirty Sanchez-- Fucking on the Dancefloor
Vitalic-- My Friend Dario
Felix da Housecat-- Silver Screen, Shower Scene
Mylo vs. Scissor Sisters-- Drop the Numb
Murray Head-- One Night in Bangkok (remix)
Benny Benassi-- Satisfaction
Peaches-- Fuck the Pain Away
Avenue D-- Do I Look Like a Slut?
Miss Kittin and the Hacker-- Frank Sinatra
Flatpack-- Sweet Child O' Mine
Ladytron-- Playgirl
Shiny Toy Guns-- Le Disko
Depeche Mode-- Personal Jesus
Fischerspooner-- Emerge
The Knife-- Heartbeats (Rex the Dog Mix)
Madonna-- Hung Up
Stardust-- Music Sounds Better with You
Mirwais-- Miss You (Jacque Lu Cont Mix)
Goldfrapp-- Ooh La La (Tiefschwarz Mix)
Kylie Minogue-- Can't Get You Out of My Head
Gwen Stefani-- What You Waiting For? (Jacques Lu Cont Mix)