By: Andre
[ed. note: Dre sent us this, but hasn't signed up for the blog yet, so we're taking the liberty of posting it for him.]

So it's Saturday night and you wanna get down but you're stuck at your girlfriend's dinner party. More merlot anyone? Fuck this! Just as soon as the tremors of a nervous breakdown begin to rumble, you're calmed by the hopeful buzz of the doorbell. A wave of relief rushes over you as the dinner party morphs into a real party. The table's cleared, booze's flowin' and everybody's loosenin' up. Now what this party needs is some tunes and your girlfriend only listens to 10,000 Maniacs, No Doubt and every other horrible band that annoys the shit out of you. Dammit, fucked again! You're not prepared for this; no CDs, no albums, not even a random mix tape from the car (oh, and of course, no bourgeois I-Pod). Right now, you would kill for a 12" single of Neneh Cherry's "Buffalo Stance." Don't Stress. Flip on the radio/stereo (fuckin' clock radio if you have to) and you should be alright. There are a handful of radio stations that have what are called "Specialty Shows," shows designed to let you party all night long wherever you are.
Now, to deejay your party right, try to quickly pre-program some good stations. A turndial is tough because you have to lower the volume and twist the dial quickly searching for the next station in between commercials. But, if your nimble fingers can pull it off, you'll showcase some random skills and maybe score a hummer from your girlfriend's sister in the bathroom (just kidding, right?). Commercials and static are a good way to kill your flow, so you must be focused. Don't start bullshittin' with somebody and wander off, because then you'll have to run back to the stereo when everybody starts yelling at you. Things don't get started until 6:00 p.m.. Before that, you might as well break out a washboard and harmonica. Here is a list of shows and times to help you deejay sans tables and save the party.
[ed.note: All shows are from L.A. If you don't live here, you're screwed.]

KKJZ 88.1
Blues in the Night
6:00-9:00 p.m.

A mix of blues, soul, r&b and jazz. Deejay the foreplay.

KCRW 88.9
Chocolate City
6:00- 9:00 p.m.

Garth Trinidad gives you a soulful mix of hip-hop, funk, world music and a bunch of other shit that you wish you had in your record collection.

KHHT 92.3
Old School Saturday Night
7:00- 12:00 a.m.

Typical old school that you have heard a million times, but will still get the job done. Refer to this station when there are commercials on the other stations.

KKBT 1003.
Saturday Night Live
7:00- 10:00 p.m.

Top 40 hip-hop mixed with egocentric DJs that want to hear themselves talk. Again, put this on when there is nothing else.

KPFK 90.7
Canto Tropical
8:00- 10:00 p.m.

It's time to shift this party into gear. A colorful show playing salsa, mambo, Afro-Cuban and Latin jazz to let everyone know that you are not fuckin' around.

KJLH 102.3
Saturday Night Mix Down
9:00 -?

This is the baddest radio show in L.A. without question. DJ Rick Waddas throws it down all night long, playing from electro-funk to old school to hip-hop in no particular order. It's hard to dance and write down a playlist at the same time, which is what you will do. This should be your homebase throughout the night.

KCRW 88.9
The Drop
9:00 -12:00 a.m.

If you are hanging out with Westside yuppie fucks, put this on and turn it up. If you are hanging with people who have culture and some ethnicity, act like this show doesn't exist.

STAR 98.7
Totally 80s Saturday Night
8:00 - ?

In between commercials, Richard Blade plays the absolute worst in 80s retro. This show fuckin' sucks.

KPWR 105.9
The Wake Up Show
12:00 - 2:00 a.m.

Hip-hop mix to get your lazy stoner friends off their asses and raging right now!

KROQ 106.7
After Hours
12:00 - 3:00 a.m.

Jason Bentley spins electronica, techno and trance. Break out the cocaine!

KPWR 105.9
Power Tools
2:00 - 4:00 a.m.

Put this on and party like a gay man on ecstasy. This show is a non-stop rave playin' techno, trance, house and a bunch of other shit that you would only listen to at this hour.

KXLU 88.9
Metal Storm
4:00 - 5:00 a.m.

Put this on to clear the party out and whatever tweakers are left will automatically start cleaning up for you.

If people are still partying at 4 or 5:00 a.m., kick everyone out and get ready to eat pussy because your coke dick ain't going nowhere. Hope this guide can help you out whenever you may need it. Enjoy.

We do this monthly dance party called Discourse over at the Parlour in West Hollywood. Our friend, Charlie, has taken the liberty of documenting each event on film. See the party over here, then check out the rest of his site for pics of Crom and other cool stuff.

Yours,

Liz & Kar3n

By: Liz O. and Melissa M.
Melissa is in Eagle Rock looking for personal ads for desperate guys in search of naked Riot Grrrls on Craigslist. I'm in Northridge procrastinating because I have to write a news analysis based on Edward Said's work. We're both listening to the Retro Active station on Music Choice.
Melissa and I are dedicated to New Wave. Our taste in music is broad and we definitely love new sounds, but New Wave is where we got our start as little girls growing up in opposite ends of Los Angeles. Melissa has an older sister who was cool enough to sneak into Odyssey, which we have heard was the place to be in early-1980s Los Angeles, and took her to see Flock of Seagulls and the Fixx. I have a mom who listened to David Bowie and Talking Heads when she drove me to pre-school and let me stay up to watch Square Pegs with her. Sometimes, all it takes is a dated keyboard and the thought of boys in eyeshadow to make our night.
"I promise you a miracle in the form of a co-dependent ex-Goth who spends all day on Craigslist," I type after reading some of the personals that Melissa forwarded to me. Simple Minds is playing in the background. For some reason, I can never, ever connect Simple Minds with anything other than The Breakfast Club, regardless of the fact that I can recall every lyric of "I Promise You a Miracle." It's strange how music and images work.
Simple Minds turns into Love and Rockets, which turns into "Love Cats" from the Cure and we engage in the same discussion that emerges from any meeting of Cure fans. Why, Robert? Why couldn't you quit while you were ahead?
"I think he really needs to let the dream die. He's going to be playing the County Fair soon, just you wait," Melissa states.
"I don't understand why he insists that each album is the best Cure album yet when we all know that it went downhill after Disintegration," I add.
"I'll be dancing to 'From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea' with a corndog and lemonade."
"That's like me trying to dance to the Pixies at Coachella last year."
Go ahead, delete me from your friend list on My Space. I said it. The Pixies at Coachella was like going to the LA County Fair.
"Well," Melissa concedes. " I must admit that there were tracks off Wild Mood Swings that I really did love, especially the instrumentation, but I'm sorry, Bloodflowers was an awfully expensive coaster."
We talk about David Bowie growing hotter with age and that we are both "diggin' his scene," as Melissa says. Yes, like the Blow Monkey's song. We acknowledge that we like Iggy Pop, but we prefer Siouxsie's version of "The Passenger."
"We probably lost so much indie cred for saying that," I type, wishing that sarcasm could translate online without having to search for the appropriate smiley.
"I don't care," Melissa answers. "I lost Goth cred for being all jazzed to see Skid Row!!"
"I lost indie cred for being Goth."
"Cred is just another way to mask insecurity by those who feel a need to judge you."
Is this starting to read like that per-zine you did in 1995?
We start chatting about an Alarm song that we only vaguely recall, but can't quite place. Do we actually remember hearing these songs on KROQ in 1986, or have we just been listening to so much digital cable radio that it's all bleeding together? We start listing our favorite New Order songs, which I won't reprint here because we are big New Order fans and you will probably read more about that later.
"New Order just reminds me of being so excited to actually have something good played at my lame ass school dances where everyone wanted to hear Power 106 or shitty KIIS FM mixes."
"I know, it was the best part of Skateland," I write in response to Melissa. "They'd bust out New Order right before playing freakin' Timmy T."
We hear the Fixx and Melissa reminisces about her first concert. It was 1983 and she was eight.
"You know how some people are born knowing what they're good at, what they're destiny is? Seeing my first concert cemented the fact that I was a fan, meant to love and live music."
And then, somehow, it all comes back to Craigslist.
I jump up in my chair when I hear that creepy, spastic robot sound of "Warm Leatherette." I tell Melissa that she totally has to post a personal using the lyrics.
"A tear of petrol is in your eye/The hand break, penetrates your thigh/Quick, let's make love/Before you die/On warm leatherette."
"OMG! I totally should see if I actually get any responses and if they are of quality...Pic or no?"
"Put up the album cover, with the crash test dummies."
"I'm totally going to get all these PVC-wearing VNV Nation dorks who live at home, wank on Internet porn and roleplay. So wrong, I don't even know where to start."

By Balthazar Monsoon

Just because I'm a gay man doesn't mean that I want to hear the latest remix by Britney Spears whenever I go clubbing. In fact, I can't stand her. Along those lines, I don't want to hear any gay flavor of the month. I'm pretty happy that I am a gay man, but there are times when I'm bloody tired of hearing "Dive in the Pool" by Barry Harris featuring Pepper Mashay (from Queer As Folk) or "All Things" by Wildlife featuring Simone (from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy) whenever I go to a gay club/bar.

I'll admit that I like some pop music, but I tend to gravitate towards singers with really good voices or artists willing to cover the not-so-common, i.e. Mandy Moore singing The Waterboys' "The Whole of the Moon." What ever happened to the gay pop bands of the '80s, like Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, and Bronski Beat? Why aren't they played in clubs anymore? Is it because the thinly veiled homoeroticism just doesn't cut it with todays's queer youth, sporting Hollister instead of United Colours of Benetton?

I know that being vapid and vacuous is closely associated with being gay, but being an informed individual is necessary. I'm sure every queer out there knows about Vermont and most Canadian provinces allowing gay marriage, but do they know why Hawaii never passed it? Because Hawaii found out that gay marriage violated the state constitution. It's fine and dandy to wear an AIDS ribbon as more and more of us are losing people to AIDS, but are you willing to participate in an AIDS Walk or an AIDS project geared to you geographic area? My good friend is doing AIDS Life Cycle later this year, from San Francisco to Los Angeles. A few years ago, I walked in AIDS Walk San Francisco, and was almost interviewed for the news.

Is it wrong that I wish more gays, especially men, had more substance? Am I wrong that I'd like to have a conversation about politics or literature rather than Britney's latest controversy? Some gay men, especially those in chat rooms, think I'm bitter and/or jaded because I hold views that are much different than their own, like Madonna should have never played Evita or that I won't respect Britney Spears until I hear her sing live and dance at the same time. Has good music and taste influenced me this much? Or am I just a non-conformist who is too damned vocal? Whatever the case may be, I don't mind, just don't get me started on another rant.

XLover
Pleasure and Romance
International Deejay Gigolo Records
Release Date: Late-May, 2005

I'm getting annoyed with breathy female vocals. Less than a minute into Pleasure and Romance, the Gigolo debut from Xlover, I was struck by the similarity between singer Nina Rai on "Lovesucker" and Soffy O on "Missy Queen" and started to feel bored. By the second track, "Sex Rebel," I thought I was warming up to the album, but then realized that I was just listening to the New Order guitar and trying to ignore the vocals. On a track like "Faking It" (the subject matter should be obvious from the title) the indifference in Rai's voice makes sense. Overall, however, singing like a bored fourteen-year-old throughout a bunch of songs about sex is kind of creepy and definitely tedious. I wanted to hear more screaming, like Princess Superstar on the cover of "Darling Nikki" herein, or Rai on the hidden track, an electronic rendition of Nirvana's "Aneurysm." The latter is the highlight of the album, with Rai dumping the cute-girl routine for something far more gravely and sinister. Had the whole album sounded like that, it might have been an instant favorite of mine. Now, I'm just hoping that Gigolo will release a remix single of "Aneurysm."

Hiltmeyer Inc.
Sending 70
Gomma
Release Date: 5/13/05

The press release for Sending 70, from Munich-based artist Hiltmeyer Inc., describes the music as "Pornotrance from outta space." I contend, however, that pornstars are much more likely to be found rockin' out to heavy metal tribute bands at Paladino's in Tarzana (where, in fact, Kid C. and I did spot quite a few Adult Film Personalities whilst checking out Iron Maidens many moons ago) than dancing to the electro-funk-disco-whatever beats on this 10-song CD.
However, there are a few tracks on here ("Pornhaus" and "70erJack," for example) that have an updated Boogie Nights-funk thrust, sort of like the Chakachas after taking so much E that having sex is kind of impossible so it's all really heavy groping. Much of the album, though, seems inspired by Italo disco, complete with the synthetic-sounding strings and Space Mountain effects. The album is almost completely free of vocals, save for a bit of beat boxing on "Finalahh." That said, it's fairly easy to get lost while listening to Sending 70, just let your mind catch a beat and the whole album will play before you realize how much time has lapsed.

Welcome to the new and improved People's Dance Party, comrades!

Things are looking a little different around here! First and foremost, the Glorious April Plan of the People has been fulfilled beyond our wildest dreams. The People have joined the 21st century, and we will be now using this blogski for all your most timely news. In practical terms, this means we can update more than once a month, with things that are relevant! Surely, comrades, we should rejoice and bookmark this page now!

Our other Glorious Plan is also proceeding far above schedule. The People will continue to have articles of interest to all comrades in the bar on the right side. Again, we should rejoice!

We also begin a new Central Plan-- troubleshooting. There's still quite a bit of "construction" going on, so if you find anything that needs fixing, leave a comment, or email webmistress@thepeoplesdanceparty.com with your web-related concerns. In the meantime, enjoy the new site! :)