Houston Bernard Uncensored
By Balthazar Monsoon

Performer Houston Bernard has a message for the American public, “I need more ass!” Actually, he’s promoting human rights and free speech as well as pushing some more liberal views on the American public while currently on tour. Since April, this former military man has been driving his own car across the country to promote his brand of “Bi Porno ElectroPunk Rap.” He took some time out of his busy touring schedule to answer a few questions.

[Ed. Note: Outside of a few typographical changes, this interview appears unedited.]


Who do you consider your influences?
-- 2 live Crew, Basement Jaxx, and Bryan Adams

How would you describe your music?
-- Bi Porno ElectroPunk Rap, it's pretty self-explanatory...don't u think?

What message are you trying to convey to the public?
-- I need more Asz !! Well, I'm touring North America promoting HUMAN RIGHTS and FREE SPEECH....gay rights is a g\huge issue and I'm trying to push some liberal views on the narrow minded control freak consumer nazi's I like to call mainstream America...

How important do you feel it is for the public to know what's going on with the government?
-- Well, unless u have gone outside of American westernization anywhere in the world or watches movies like F 911 u really have no idea what's going on...so unless u stay informed, u might as well whore ur asz on the street like me

How/when did you start performing?
-- When I popped out my moms Vagina

What books are you reading right now?
-- A good Master ( BDSM book)

Do you know who you're voting for in the fall? If so, who?
-- The lesser of 2 evils, Bush is obviously the more evil of the two stupid fukks

What are your hobbies?
-- Well, I have been on tour since April starting in Italy then Oklahoma, so I jerk off a lot in my car and perform shows for all the sexy people...

What does family mean to you?
-- Everything, that includes my community, and the youth of America is very important to me, cuz this country is fukked now, I was in the military for a long time and so were my dad, bro, uncle etc and we have many friends who have died for nothing and/ or money for some rich white cracker with zero morality.

Are you in a relationship?
-- Of course, with all the sexy people!!! They give good asz and head so I give them luv..

Can you see yourself with one person for the rest of your life?
-- One person..Ahhh!! brain freeze...brain..must ...stop....uh!

What advice would you give to queer youth?
-- Educate ur stupid asz...and U are sexy... so fukkin sexy, dont let any mother fukker get in ur way, if they do call me and I will bring the gay mafia mutha fukkas down there and beat some asz... for real, I aint no joke! Bi as in music for both masculines and femmes, Porno as in the content, its electro and punk of electronic music, I rap and I sing play guitar etc.. Enjoy!!

Bernard is still zigzagging the nation before he leaves for Europe. For more information, visit http://www.houstonbernard.com or http://groups.yahoo.com/houstonbernard.


Balthazar Monsoon has always had a penchant for flamboyancy. Currently, he's trying to finish his degree and stay hopelessly devoted to his stories.

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